10 things you must stop doing if you want to be happy

ByMichael Yardney

Over the the 10 years I’ve been running my Mentorship Program  I’ve been fortunate enough to work with some very successful property investors, business people and entrepreneurs.

And of course I’ve worked with some who’ve not achieved anywhere near the success they person-people-personality-mind-happy-sad-angry-psychology-think-man-300x172deserved.

When looking at both groups, I’ve found that in general those people have been happy with their lives where happy because of the way they thought about the world and themselves, and it had really little to do with the amount of money they had, how many properties they owned, or their material possessions.

On the other hand, those that were unhappy shared a number of habits that drove them away from happiness.

LifeHack explained that starting today you can be as happy as you wish…if you get rid of these 10 deadly habits:

1. Holding on to the past

Whether you’re holding on to good or bad memories, spending your life in another time or place does not propel you forward into something for the better.past-future

Pay attention to what you are doing right now, today.

Learn from your past experiences, thoughts, and feelings, and live now; beauty can unfold in magical ways right in front of you if you just look.

2. Negative self-talk

“I’m not good enough,” is a poisonous thought.

Each day, write down ten affirmations or things you like about yourself.

This is probably the easiest way to rewire your brain if you keep at it.

Love doing you: just because someone you really cared about never loved you, it doesn’t mean you can’t love yourself.

In the end, your love and positivity will matter more, rather than relying on others to find it.

3. Procrastinating

Sometimes it seems like the internet is usually one big procrastination machine where you can’t get anything done.

You have an automatic switch in your head – when a due date is nigh, it’s suddenly time to watch season one of Beverly Hills: 90210!

Start with one imperfect baby step at a time instead of putting off a task.

The more you “forget” about what you need to do, the more you end up actually thinking about it.

4. Blaming others

anger-300x241It feels justified to blame others because you know it’s not your fault things turned out the way they did.

But blaming others when you’re having a tough time means that you’re denying responsibility.

In fact, you’re making the problem worse by self-victimising.

If you’re really upset about a situation, allow yourself to feel the feeling of anger or fear, or whatever it is, instead of blaming someone else for it.

Then when you’re ready, let go.

5. Living for a paycheck

There’s actually nothing more soul-destroying than working a job you hate just for the money.

Work takes up a large percentage of your life, and if you’re not happy in life, the money truly won’t matter.

Do work that defines who you are.

Who are you, anyway?

Take some time to figure that out, ask yourself uncomfortable questions, and slowly start finding an imperfect path to fulfillment.

6. Never opening the door to challenge

Never accepting challenges is like never wanting to change.

Hiding in a corner because you’ve always done that because you never felt loved and you felt ashamed for these feelings will never empower you to be something beyond that.

You’ll be stuck in that corner forever, perpetuating the cycle.

Tackle the problem one day at a time instead of running away from it.

If you’re a shy recluse who doesn’t leave the house, go out in public once a day and look someone in the eye before you move on to your bigger fears.

7. Comparing yourself to othersfacebook-checking-work-time-wasting-motivation-procrastinate-300x300

Your life does not revolve around your fantasy of what other people’s lives appear to be on the surface.

You’re looking at Sally’s job at the Best Company Ever and thinking that she must have the Best Life Ever, when, in fact, there’s a total disaster area happening in another part of her life.

If you often catch yourself comparing yourself to others, consider deactivating your social media channels for a day and see how you feel.

Studies on how Facebook affects self-esteem may very well apply to you.

8. Being ungrateful

Learn to become grateful for the bad experiences you’ve had or the mistakes you’ve made.

Sit and dwell and feel crappy about it if you have to – it’s better than denying it.

You just got fired, and yes, it’s going to feel pretty bad for a long time.

But you learned that the job wasn’t right for you.

Now it’s time to embark on a new, better path.

Wake up each day thankful to be alive.

Notice what you have that others do not.

9. Not being nice to yourself
[pro_ad_display_adzone id=”61998″ align=”right”] Practice self-compassion.

Ugh, not another one of those words again, like “affirmation.”

But trust me, being fully with yourself in a loyal, nonjudgmental way is one step to happiness.

Don’t say anything to yourself you wouldn’t say to a friend or family member that you love.

You need care, concern and unconditional acceptance as much as the next person.

10. Trying to be someone you’re not

Your whole life, your parents pressured you to get good grades so you’d end up in medical or law school.

But that’s never what you wanted.

At some point, analyze the mental childhood conditioning you’ve been brought up with.

Check in with yourself.

Wanting to be pretty and rich might really mean wanting attention, which might really mean wanting to be loved for who you are.

It’s time to start digging deep!

There are some interesting lessons here – aren’t there?

Michael Yardney
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